A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "I was on a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota and I came upon a gang of Hell's Angels who were about to rape a young woman. I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen."
"So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off, you asshole, or you'll answer to me!'"
St. Peter was impressed. "Gee, that's more than enough to get you in here. When did this happen?"
"Just a couple minutes ago."