ZEN FOR THOSE WHO TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY
- Save The Whales. Collect The Whole Set.
- A Day Without Sunshine Is Like, Night.
- On The Other Hand, You Have Different Fingers.
- I Just Got Lost In Thought. It Wasn't Familiar Territory.
- 42.7% Of All Statistics Are Made Up On The Spot
- 99% Of Lawyers Give The Rest A Bad Name.
- I Feel Like I'm Diagonally Parked In A Parallel Universe.
- Honk If You Love Peace And Quiet.
- Remember, Half The People You Know Are Below Average.
- He Who Laughs Last, Thinks Slowest.
- Depression Is Merely Anger Without Enthusiasm.
- The Early Bird May Get The Worm, But The Second Mouse Gets The
cheese.
- I Drive Way Too Fast To Worry About Cholesterol.
- Support Bacteria. They're The Only Culture Some People Have.
- Monday Is An Awful Way To Spend 1/7 Of Your Week.
- A Clear Conscience Is Usually The Sign Of A Bad Memory.
- Change Is Inevitable, Except From Vending Machines.
- Get A New Car For Your Spouse. It'll Be A Great Trade!
- Plan To Be Spontaneous Tomorrow.
- Always Try To Be Modest, And Be Proud Of It!
- If You Think Nobody Cares, Try Missing A Couple Of Payments.
- How Many Of You Believe In Psychokinesis? Raise My Hand.
- OK, So What's The Speed Of Dark?
- How Do You Tell When You're Out Of Invisible Ink?
- If Everything Seems To Be Going Well, You Have Obviously Overlooked Something.
- When Everything Is Coming Your Way, You're In T He Wrong Lane.
- Hard Work Pays Off In The Future. Laziness Pays Off Now.
- Everyone Has A Photographic Memory. Some Just Do Not Have Film.
- If Barbie Is So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends?
- How Much Deeper Would The Ocean Be Without Sponges?
- Eagles May Soar, But Weasels Do Not Get Sucked Into Jet Engines.
- What Happens If You Get Scared Half To Death Twice?
- I Used To Have An Open Mind, But My Brains Kept Falling Out.
- I Couldn't Repair Your Brakes, So I Made Your Horn Louder.
- Why Do Psychics Have To Ask You For Your Name?
- Inside Every Older Person Is A Younger Person Wondering What Happened.
- Just Remember--If The World Did Not Suck, We Would All Fall Off.
- Light Travels Faster Than Sound, Which Is Why Some People Appear Bright Until You Hear Them Speak