Keeping Score

Paddy had such a bad round of golf he went home and beat his wife to death. Feeling somewhat guilty he rang the police and said "I've just killed my wife". He gave the police his name and address and about a minute later a police car screeched up the driveway and two policeman got out and banged on the door.

Police: Are you the man who said he killed his wife ?

Paddy: Yes, that was me.

Police: Well, where's the body?

Paddy took the policeman into the kitchen where a woman lay motionless on the floor. The police took out his pen and folder and started to take notes.

Police: Is this woman dead ?

Paddy: Yes

Police: And she is your wife ?

Paddy: Yes

Police: And you killed her ?

Paddy: Yes

Police: How did you kill her ?

Paddy: I beat her to death with my 6-iron.

Police: How many times did you actually hit her?

Paddy: Seven or eight, but put me down for a five.