Golf Heaven

This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, die in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to the wife's neurotic interest in health food.

When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they oohed and aahed, the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "It's free, " Peter replied, "Remember, this is Heaven."

Next they went out back to see the championship golf course the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges every day, and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on Earth. The old man asked, " What are the green fees?"

"This is heaven!", St. Peter replied. "You always play for free, and any tee-time you want is yours! And by the way, those new clubs you never bought are here, on the back of your new golf-cart. It's parked right there in the six car garage, along with a new Rolls Royce and a new Ferrari. Gas is free, here in heaven, and there are no traffic jams either."

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the most lavish, 24-hour-a-day buffet with the best cuisines of the world laid out. The best table in the house was set with a reserved sign with the old man's name on it. "How much to eat?" he asked.

"Don't you understand yet?" St. Peter asked. "This is heaven. It is all free!"

"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods?", the old man asked timidly.

St Peter replied, "That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like, and you never get fat and you never get sick. Remember, This is Heaven."

The old man looked at his wife and said, "Damn you, if it wasn't for you and your fucking bran muffins, we could have been here ten years ago! "