T-Tail-Tall-Tail:
Torturing Air Force Academy Cadets
PsyOps on NORTHPAC
Kent Davis
C141 Nav 1972-1991
Long boring over water flights sometimes lent
themselves to practical jokes
and one of those routes was our North Pacific route
that took us very close to
Russian Kurile Islands. One such flight lent us a
great opportunity to liven up
our flight and throw a scare into a young Air Force
Academy Cadet.
During the mission pre-brief we took time to point
out the dangers of flying
close to Soviet territory. Then as the flight
progressed the pilot kept asking
me, the navigator, over and over again if we were
alright.
Late into the flight as we neared the Russian
boarder I suddenly became very
animated and agitated and finally exclaimed to the
pilot, "Oh, my God! I've
made an error. We're over Russian territory!!"
"You idiot, what in the hell have you done? You know
damn well they'll shoot us
down if they catch us. What can we do?"
"Well, if you speed up we'll be out of here in 15
minutes and be safe and
nobody will know we strayed over Russia."
With that the Pilot pushed up the throttles, told
the co-pilot to keep an eye
open for Russian Migs and sent the scanner and
load-master to the back of the
aircraft to watch out the back for fighter aircraft,
which might come up behind
us.
After the scanner and load-master had gone to the
rear, I started to panic
telling the pilot, "Faster! Faster!!", until the
engineer exclaimed, "You'll
rip the wings off if you go any faster".
As the flight continued the pilot kept asking, "Are
we were there yet? While I
continued to mumble, "Faster! Faster!!" and poured
over my charts.
While this went on our poor cadet sat in the jump
seat between the pilots
looking very concerned and worried.
Then with a call from the load-master things really
get moving.
"Pilot, load ... there is Mig coming up behind us
and he is wagging his wing."
(An international aircraft maneuver telling you to
pull over and follow him to
his base.)
"Load, pilot ... do you and the scanner have your
guns?
"Yes, sir."
"Nav ... how much further?"
"Just a half minute more and we'll be over
international waters. If you could
just push up the speed a little more."
"Load ... I'll have the engineer depressurize the
cargo compartment and when he
dose you open the rear hatches and fire on him, to
get him to back off."
"Yes, sir."
"Engineer ... depressurize the cargo compartment."
"Yes, sir". And the engineer furiously scrambled to
adjust the knobs on his
panel and then said, "Sir, the cargo compartment is
depressurized."
"Load, scanner .... Open the back hatch and fire some
warning shots at him."
Within a couple of seconds the scanner grabbed the
latrine door, which is in
the cargo compartment just below the crew
compartment and slammed it several
time, to simulate gun fire. And each time the door
slammed our victim jumped
and beads of sweat begin popping out on his brow, as
he clung tightly, with
white knuckles, to the small bar in front his seat.
At this point the engineer began to loose control and
he put his head down on
his arms and desk to keep from laughing in front of
the cadet. But to the cadet
it looked like he was sobbing.
"Pilot, load .... I don't think he liked us shooting
at him and it appears he's
going to fire a missile."
"Oh, my God, Nav, what have you done? This bastard is
going to kill us all!"
With that the pilot turned the plane sharply to the
left.
With my back to the cadet I'd been rubbing my eyes
and they were now red and
puffy and as I turn to face the pilot and the cadet
I said, "Yes, sir, sorry, no excuse sir."
Then came the coup d'état "Pilot," the load
screamed, "he's firing a
missile. Do something!!
And that was the end for our poor cadet, who then
stood up to exclaim, "I don't
want to die, I don't want to die!"
And so it went, hours and hours of tedious boredom
punctuated with minutes of
sheer terror.